Increasing Emotional Intelligence (how) Is It Possible
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Over the past few years, emotional intelligence has become one of the most popular psychology theories. Many professionals now offer courses that focus on improving your EQ or “emotional literacy” as some call it.
This is very interesting to note because we often forget our own emotions. We sometimes ignore how we feel about things and even suppress them at times. This makes sense if you think about it – why would you want to be aware of your feelings if you are trying to achieve something?
By having control over your emotions, you will learn more about yourself and what types of situations make you stressed out or excited. You can then apply this knowledge in other areas of your life to improve your overall happiness.
There are several reasons why increasing your emotional intelligence is so important. Here are some examples:
* In business, employees with high emotional intelligence are valued more than those who do not. Companies strive for a balance between productivity and fostering relationships, which help promote employee well-being and engagement in their jobs.
* Married couples find it easier to communicate and work through differences when they have higher levels of emotional intelligence.
* Students who realize the importance of understanding their emotions perform better academically and retain information longer.
* The average person spends around eight hours per day interacting with others, so being able to identify and understand their emotions is an essential skill.
Look at your reactions
Recent research suggests that it is possible to increase emotional intelligence or “EI” by looking at our own reactions in relation to other people and situations.
Conversations are rich sources of information about how we perceive, process and respond to emotions in others.
The better you understand what makes someone else feel good or bad, the more easily you can help them achieve their goal.
You could be helping them accomplish their personal goal — something they really want like getting into a great college –or achieving an objective they have such as quitting smoking.
It may also be helping them avoid self-destructive behaviors by identifying warning signs and responding effectively.
For example, if a friend comes across as angry most of the time, maybe they need some help changing jobs or career paths.
This article will talk about three ways to boost your emotional quotient (EQ). We will focus only on those who show moderate levels of empathy and emotion regulation already.
Practice having difficult conversations
Recent research suggests that we all have a limited amount of emotional intelligence, also referred to as em-skill. We can be more or less aware of our emotions, and some people are lucky enough to possess higher levels of it than others do.
That doesn’t make them any better, just different — but it could mean the difference between your life going up in flames and staying out of harms way.
In fact, one study found that successful executives were rated as displaying greater empathy than their peers.1
So why don’t we learn how to manage our own feelings? Because most of us aren’t being trained in this area at an early age.2 And even if we were, many things get in the way like money problems, health issues and no clear role models.3
It feels safer to avoid dealing with tough topics, particularly when you’re working under pressure. But this only serves to keep you in unhappy employment and/or limiting your potential.
Developing your emotional intelligence is not something that happens overnight, but it can be improved through training and practice. You will need to work on it consistently every day for effect.
It’s also important to recognize that while developing your EI may seem like an easy thing to do, it will make you feel uncomfortable at times.
This is totally normal!
Everyone has different levels of empathy, understanding, and emotion regulation. Some people are more socially intelligent than others, but no one is completely cut off from other people.
We’re all connected in some way, so trying to understand how things affect someone else or how to relate to them is important.
But learning this takes practice, so don’t worry about being “good” with emotions – just try to improve yourself and keep practicing.
You never know when you might have to use these skills, so be prepared.
Consistency is one of the biggest keys to success in anything. If you want to achieve your goal, you have to put in the time and effort into it consistently every day for an extended period of time. This could be practicing yoga for five minutes a week or working hard at work all day every day!
Consistency is also important when it comes to developing emotional intelligence. You need to spend enough time doing things related to improving your EQ skills on a regular basis.
You can’t just show up once a month and expect to reap the benefits. You have to keep coming back everyday so that your brain gets used to the concepts and strategies you are trying to teach it.
And don’t forget, even though this article topic focused on how to increase empathy, another key component of emotional intelligence, consistency is still relevant.
Practice some form of self-awareness daily by noting what you were thinking, feeling, and doing during the past 24 hours. Also note any specific emotions you experienced and why.
This will help you understand yourself better and give you more insight into your feelings. The same goes for other people—be aware and acknowledge their actions and underlying thoughts.
Experts say that most people are not very good at recognizing and understanding their own emotions, making them live with limited emotional knowledge and maturity.
So try learning about your emotions and how they influence your behavior and life.
Developing your emotional intelligence is not something that happens overnight or in a quick period of time. This is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort over a long time frame to see results. That being said, you can definitely improve your emotional quotient if you put in the work consistently!
Just because someone with high emotional IQs is able to control their emotions sometimes does not mean you should try it. Becoming more aware of your own feelings and those around you takes practice, so do not attempt this unless you are sure you will be successful.
Also remember that anyone can develop his or her EQ, even people who have never tried before. You do not need to feel like you “have” it before you do things, which helps eliminate some fears about trying to use it.
Everyone has different levels of EQ depending on what situations they are in and how they respond to them. There is no right way to handle certain situations, so there is no standard for EQ that others could tell you about.
However, we can all learn from each other and apply our knowledge onto ourselves and others. People who have higher EQ understand that life is a series of experiences, and they know how to relate to these experiences.
Your overall level of EQ can increase through everyday activities such as practicing acceptance and letting go, using positive thinking, understanding humor, and learning how to listen. All of these qualities help you deal with and affect others positively.
Feedback is one of the most important things we give to others, including ourselves. When you’re doing something, ask yourself if what you are doing is working or not!
We get limited information from other people due to social conditioning. Social norms make it very common for us to edit our behavior before telling someone about it.
So instead of giving you true information, they may just tell you whether you look good in your clothes or not. Or maybe they will praise you for being brave enough to try new foods even though you hate them.
Either way, these aren’t helpful insights.
By asking yourself how you feel about what you are doing, you can gain some much needed insight into whether the thing you are doing is worth it. And if you need to change something, you have knowledge to help you do that more effectively.
Seek out honest, thoughtful feedback from those around you. Ask close friends, family members, and coworkers how you’re looking, acting, and talking compared to who you were a few days ago.
Ask formal referees like teachers how you did on a test, and compare your results with past exams. Get comments directly from others as opposed to hearsay or assumptions.
Get lots of different types of input so you can see which ones seem to be the most meaningful to you — and then use only those.
We’ve discussed before how emotional intelligence is like having smarts- you know what things make you feel good and what things make you feel bad, and you use that information to your advantage.
But there is a very important difference between being intelligent and being emotionally intelligent. The key word here is “humble.”
Being emotionally intelligent means acknowledging where you fall short in terms of other people’s emotions, not feeling superior to others because they seem more aware of certain emotions, and adjusting your behavior accordingly.
This doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself or try to fix anything that bothers you, but instead you understand the effects that something had on you and work to avoid similar situations in the future.
It also means letting go of past mistakes, learning from them, and moving on. You may be hurt right now, but you’ll find happiness later if you do.
Learn to laugh
Developing your emotional intelligence is not just for big people with bigger problems, it’s something that everyone can develop. You don’t have to be someone who uses their emotions frequently to increase their EI, you can learn how to control them at times.
The first step in developing your emotional intelligence is learning how to recognize and understand your own emotions.
You should be able to identify what you are feeling and why you feel it – this means having clear concepts of emotion. For example, when you think about yourself, you should be able to describe how you feel and why.
Another important aspect of identifying your own feelings is being aware of context. What situation makes you feel a certain way, and is there anything beyond the situation that could influence your mood?
Once you have identified your thoughts and feelings, you will want to know what effect they have on other people. Are your loved ones interacting with you effectively because they sense your emotions? Or are they walking away due to your negative attitude?
When things go wrong, is there an appropriate amount of anger or sadness? If you are able to take time to de-stress after a bad experience, then your relationships will be improved as others perceive you as less stressed.
Last, you should be able to manage your emotions in and out of situations.