Ways To Show Emotional Intelligence
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People are often focused on developing their emotional intelligence (EI) skills for work, but there are many ways you can show more EI outside of work as well!
Research shows that people who are able to recognize and understand emotions in others are happier than those who cannot. This is because other people’s feelings influence your own mood, and being able to identify what makes someone else feel good or bad helps you predict how you should feel about something.
You don’t need to be like “Oh my gosh, I totally understood her feeling when she said that!” to show strong emotional understanding, however — all it takes is knowing how different individuals process emotion.
By using yourself as a case study, you will eventually figure out your personal strengths and weaknesses in regards to emotions. Then you can apply this knowledge to learn how others process emotion – and even use these lessons to motivate them!
This article will talk about some easy ways to strengthen your emotional quotient (EQ). It is not required to have an advanced degree in psychology to appreciate these tips, nor do you have to want to improve your EQ to try them.
Many of these practices were first used for improving self-awareness and then extended to help others learn about themselves and why they sometimes struggle with certain things. Therefore, they can be applied beyond just mental health issues as well.
In our increasingly fast-paced society, people do not have enough time to process what is going on in their lives.
With technology moving at such a lightning speed, it can be difficult to enjoy things alone or without some kind of distraction.
Taking breaks away from screens helps you reestablish that connection with other humans.
Having more conversations decreases stress and brings happiness into your life.
People are a wealth of knowledge and experiences, so try asking questions and being curious about others’ stories.
It will make you appreciate having those who care about you and give you tips for how to handle situations.
Have patience when dealing with individuals, don’t get too frustrated or angry unless you want your health to suffer.
Never put up with racism, sexism, or any type of discrimination because these things are harmful and offensive to not only yourself but others as well.
If someone does something hurtful to you, walk off and think about why they did it before giving them another chance.
Make eye contact
Making direct, meaningful connections with others is one of the most important skills you can develop as person. When we are not making strong eye contacts with people, we may be avoiding someone or they could feel that they are being ignored.
Making direct, meaningful connections with other people is an excellent way to show emotional intelligence. It is also a great way to improve your interpersonal relationships.
When making eye contact, try to do it for a few minutes. This will make more sense when you read the rest of this article!
Another good tip is to look them in the eyes while speaking to them. Don’t just talk around them, say something about them or ask them questions that they have not asked of you yet.
This creates a deeper connection between you two. Try doing this several times and see what happens. You will know if it works because of the kind of response you get from them.
Anybody can fake a casual conversation by talking around things, but trying to connect with each other takes work. If you want to connect, you need to put some effort into it.
A lot of people get stuck in this habit of overcompensating for lack of emotional intelligence by being overly friendly, sentimental or even fake. These are all very well intended behaviors, but they may be having the opposite effect!
If you want to show your loved ones their worth then don’t pretend to like them when you really don’t. Don’t try to be funny every time something serious is said because that just sounds forced and phony.
Be true to yourself and those around you. Your inner emotions will come out eventually, so do not suppress them.
On the other hand, let go and accept things that make you feel bad as necessary parts of life. You will waste less energy trying to change someone else if you recognize these experiences for what they are- low quality experiences that can help you grow.
Don’t expect too much from others, but at the same time don’t underestimate their potential either. In fact, sometimes it’s more productive to assume good intentions than the contrary.
Share your experiences
One of the most important things that experts say you can teach emotional intelligence is to share your past experiences with others.
This is because people learn how to behave by watching what other people do, but they also learn from seeing how you respond when something happens.
By talking about yourself, you’ll not only help them understand you better, but you’ll also give them some tips for improving their own EI.
You can talk about anything – such as struggles in your relationship or job loss — but make sure it’s framed in a way that doesn’t offend anyone.
Don’t tell everyone that you failed at your goal, but instead mention why this failure was valuable for you. Or if there are stories attached to certain failures, include those too!
Everyone has bad days, so don’t feel like you have to put on an impressive show every time. Just be who you are and deal with everything directly without pretense.
Be honest with your peers
As mentioned earlier, one of the most important things that can help you develop emotional intelligence is being able to identify what emotions others are feeling.
This can be tricky at times because we all have different levels of expression for certain feelings. For example, when someone laughs really loudly, it may indicate they just got very happy or even laughed themselves.
But if their face looks strained and they look like they’re trying not to laugh then that could mean they were just thinking about something funny and had to force themselves to relax and join in.
Listen to others closely
A few years ago, I read an article about how most people have almost no emotional intelligence. The writer mentioned that we usually don’t know what emotions other people are feeling because we're not in touch with our own feelings.
He gave an example of someone who is very emotionally stable and doesn't show much emotion. This person may seem like they aren't caring or loving, but he/she actually cares a lot and is just hiding it.
We can tell when things aren’t going well for someone else, but we can’t easily identify why they’re having trouble. We might think something isn’t working or that there's a reason they should give up, but really there could be anything — mental or physical – preventing them from showing their true self.
That’s why it’s important to understand your colleagues' (and possibly even family members') jobs. Find out what makes them happy and sad, what hurts them and why, and apply this knowledge to improve your relationships.
By being aware of these things you will probably learn a couple of new tricks yourself. You'll also realize that some behaviors are annoying, but not worthy of your time and energy, so you can choose to ignore them.
But if you feel that something is off, try to figure out what's going on for them.
Don’t be egotistical
Many people lack emotional intelligence because they are always thinking about how smart or cool they are. They feel that if someone else knows more than them, then they must be stupid.
This kind of self-belief is totally untrue. You can’t assume that just because other people have found you clever before, that they will keep doing so in the future.
By believing too much in your own abilities, you set yourself up for disappointment. You may get hurt feelings and even setbacks, but it’s better to be outdone once than every day of your life.
Emotions connect us with each other, and without them we would probably spend most of our time alone. We would lose touch with our friends and family.
So don’t think only about how intelligent you are – think instead about how other people feel around you.
A major factor in emotional intelligence is having a low tolerance for ego. If you cannot keep your emotions in check, it will be very difficult to understand what people are going through.
Everyone feels things at times. We feel happy for someone else’s success or happiness, we feel sad when they suffer an injury or loss, and we can even feel angry with them if they do something that hurts us.
But taking these feelings too far beyond those bounds is not productive. When you lose control of yourself, you lose control over your own emotions which can have negative impacts on others.
Be conscious of your temper. Take time off work to de-stress and focus on your relationships.
If you find that your emotional regulation has slipped, try doing some exercises to improve your self-awareness. This could include practicing relaxation techniques, thinking about how you would like to respond to certain situations instead of using one pre-set response, and asking yourself why you are feeling a particular way.
Above all, think about what person might be experiencing in this situation and whether their perception of you matches your actual behavior towards them. Try being more aware and thoughtful of other people’s needs and concerns.
Emotionally intelligent individuals recognize that everyone experiences stress, anger, grief, fear, hope, joy, and so forth.