What Is Emotional Intelligence And How Can It Be Developed

Recent research is showing that emotional intelligence (or EQ as it’s often called) can have profound impacts on your career, family life, and overall happiness.

By now you’ve probably seen some references to “emotional literacy” or even “EQ” in relation to this concept. That is definitely an appropriate term for these qualities because they focus not only on how you process emotions, but also how well you control them.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just knowing what words are supposed to make someone else feel good, it is also about being able to identify their potential weaknesses and strengths so you can help them address any issues while at the same time supporting them with the things they need to know.

It’s also important to recognize when something is beyond your control and give people credit for handling situations effectively instead of getting upset by what you perceive as bad behavior.

There are several ways to develop your emotional intelligence, though no one method seems to be more effective than the others. Finding the right balance of strategies will depend on who you are and what you want out of your life.

This article will talk more about why developing your emotional intelligence is important and how you can do it. But first, let us look at the types of emotional intellegence and how they relate to each other.

Ways to improve one's emotional intelligence

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

One of the most important things you can do to increase your emotional quotient is learn how to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions.

Many experts agree that we are all born with a certain amount of emotional intelligence (EI).

Some people seem to have more EI than others, but no one is completely devoid of it.

However, according to some researchers, our culture creates situations where people with low self-esteem must work very hard to feel even slightly positive about themselves. This makes them develop bad habits they continue to use for years to come.

Other cultures value individuals who are not only confident in their own abilities, but also praise and acknowledge the efforts of those around them. These cultures promote an environment where people feel good about themselves and don’t need much extra help feeling happy or confident.

So while there are some studies that suggest everyone has a basic level of EI, other studies disagree. Some believe that developing your emotional skills is like lifting weights. You start out weak, but as you workout consistently, your strength increases.

Have patience

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

A large part of emotional intelligence is having control over your own emotions. This includes being able to take your time to process an emotion before you act on it, and keeping yourself in check when you’re feeling something strong.

By breaking down our reactions into different components, we can better understand what is causing them. There are several theories about how this happens, but most agree that there are three main factors.

These factors are called the cognitive level, the motivational level, and the emotional level. The cognitive level refers to taking things seriously, figuring out why people do certain things, and understanding causal relationships. For example, if someone does something that makes you feel bad, it is important to figure out why they did that so you don’t repeat the behavior by acting like another person who has done similar things in the past.

The motivation level refers to knowing whether something is worth doing or not. If something feels good, then you should probably give in to those feelings because it will probably make you happy later. On the other hand, if something feels unpleasant, you should probably avoid it unless you are very comfortable with being exposed to such experiences.

The emotional level involves being aware of your own feelings and acknowledging them while at the same time labeling them correctly. for instance, calling a negative feeling a “bad” one rather than a “good” one helps reduce its intensity.

Make eye contact

Making eye contact is one of the first things people notice about you, aside from your hair color. When making an appearance or doing business, it is important to make sure your eyes are looking like they want to connect with theirs.

Eye contact shows interest in someone or something, and it creates trust. Since we are social creatures, having enough emotional intelligence (EI) means being able to identify what emotions other people are feeling and then responding to them accordingly.

When we are unable to recognize and understand feelings of others, it can hurt or scare them. This may be because we do not perceive their reactions as significant, or because we cannot relate to how they feel.

It is very possible that they will give up trying to communicate with us if they do not get any response. On the contrary, when someone is aware of their own emotions and can describe them to another person, understanding grows.

This is one reason why it is important to know how to read and control your own emotions. You also need to acknowledge and accept those of others.

Be realistic

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

Many people get emotional intelligence confused with emotion regulation, which is also important to develop. While both are helpful in improving your relationships and career success, they are not the same thing.

Emotion regulation refers to strategies that you use to manage your own emotions. For example, someone who has good emotion regulation can recognize an angry or frustrated moment and take time to calm down before acting on it.

They may also be able to identify what element of their situation needs changing and how to make the necessary changes. In other words, they have control over the source of their emotions- themselves.

However, being aware of your feelings isn’t enough; you must be conscious of why those feelings exist in the first place. Emotions like anger, sadness, and frustration arise due to something outside yourself – most likely another person.

If you could eliminate all external causes of feeling bad, then you would never feel sad or hurt. You would only feel happy and confident, which aren’t very attractive traits.

Share your feelings

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

Most people put up with more than enough passive-aggressive behavior to feel bad for their coworkers, bosses, and family members.

They might be annoyed by something someone said or done, but instead of responding in kind, they choose to keep quiet and push their emotions under the rug.

This sort of behaviour will only grow stronger and longer lasting as time goes on. You have to work outside of this loop otherwise things can get ugly quickly.

You need to recognize when someone is putting up a wall and try to break through it so that they can share their true feelings.

It’s not easy, but if you want to improve your relationships then you have to do it. Fortunately, there are several strategies for developing emotional intelligence.

You may know some tactics already, like using ‘I statements’ to reduce defensiveness. But there are others that can help you apply what you've learned even further.

There are three main factors that determine whether you develop emotional intelligence or not: motivation, ability, and opportunity.

So how can you increase your emotional quotient (EQ)? Here are seven ways to boost your EQ skills.

Don’t hold your tongue

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

A lot of people think that being quiet is a way to show strength. But silence can actually make you seem weaker, not stronger.
Being silent when someone makes an inappropriate comment or does something hurtful shows lack of respect for their actions.

On the other hand, talking back doesn’t necessarily make you look strong either. Talking too much can sometimes be annoying or even hurt feelings.

Neither behavior is appropriate unless you are in a situation where it is. Saying nothing and staying away from conversations about things that make you feel bad is the best approach if you want to develop emotional intelligence.

Other ways to improve your EI is by practicing self-awareness. This means knowing what effects your behaviors have on others and yourself.

Be honest with your peers

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

As we know, emotional intelligence (EI) is described as the ability to recognize, understand, and control one’s own emotions as well as those of others. But what most people don’t realize is that there are actually two types of EI.

The first type is self-awareness or “self-EI.” This refers to our understanding of our personal strengths and weaknesses, as well as how these traits may be developing at this stage in our lives.

A good example of this would be when you find out that someone has a perfect score on a test they were very nervous about, so they pulled out all the tricks ahead of time to make sure they knew the material.

This person had self-awareness because they understood their strengths and weaknesses, and adjusted accordingly by studying before the test. Most people have a hard time doing this, which is why many students feel stressed out and unprepared for exams.

Another important element of self-EI is realizing that not everyone experiences events and situations the same way you do. This can sometimes cause conflict since people perceive things differently.

However, being able to identify your feelings and relate them to other people and settings is an integral part of socializing and living life. So if you want to grow your self-EI, try practicing it.

Be honest with your boss

what is emotional intelligence and how can it be developed

As mentioned before, emotional intelligence (EI) is acting upon and understanding your emotions. This can be difficult as some people may not tell you all of their feelings.

Usually this isn’t an issue unless they are in one of two situations. The first is when they do not feel like talking, which is totally fine! We all have things we need to talk about and no one is obligated to share everything with anyone else.

The second situation happens when someone does tell you something that makes them seem upset or angry. At this point it is important for them to take a moment and think about what they want to say next.

They should try to come up with a solution or way to fix the problem and then address it from there. If they cannot, then they should acknowledge how they felt and let yourself calm down before trying again.

If they are able to speak without showing any signs of anger, then you can probably assume that they have mastered this skill.

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