Over the past few years, emotional intelligence (or EQ as it is commonly referred to) has become one of the most popular trends in psychology. Many professionals now emphasize the importance of self-awareness, understanding emotions, ability to identify and manage your own emotions, and how to use emotion for success.

Many employers look at quantitative measures such as math or verbal aptitude but they are only part of what makes someone successful. They may not take into account things like empathy, motivation, or leadership qualities.

Emotional intelligence can be learned and improved upon. Recent studies suggest that people who have higher levels of emotional intelligence are more likely to succeed in life than individuals with lower levels. EQ can help you achieve your career goals and enhance relationships with others.

In this article, we will discuss some important concepts of positive mental health and emotional intelligence. We will also talk about why being able to recognize and control your emotions is an essential skill for wellness.

Introduction: Why Are People More Successful With Emotions?

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It might surprise you to learn that research suggests that people who are better at recognizing and controlling their emotions are actually happier. This could seem contradictory, but here’s an example:

Some people spend lots of time thinking about all the reasons why their roommate should move out. But these thoughts make them feel stressed and overwhelmed, which only creates more unhappiness.

Factors that affect your emotional intelligence

One of the most important factors that influence how well you understand and control your emotions is your general sense of self-confidence. How much confidence you have in yourself goes a long way towards ensuring that you don’t hold back or avoid difficult situations because you aren’t sure what to do.

At its core, emotional intelligence (or EI for short) is just knowing who you are and being able to manage your feelings. It's having self-awareness and understanding why you feel a certain way about something and then using those feelings to make the right decision.

So whether you’re trying to learn how to be kind to someone else’s kids so they will invite you into their circle or you want to know how to motivate an employee, there are several strategies that can help you increase your EQ.

Ways to improve your emotional intelligence

Over the past few decades, there has been an explosion of interest in what is now called positive psychology. This field focuses not only on the negative effects that having emotions can have on you (which we already know about!), but also how you can use your emotions to help achieve your goals and strengthen your relationships.

Certain types of emotion are considered more effective than others for achieving specific goals. For example, feeling gratitude is known to motivate you to make healthy changes, while experiencing anger helps you focus on taking action towards your goal.

There are several strategies that can be used to learn how to regulate your own emotions and identify which feelings are helpful and which are not. These include learning how to recognize your emotions, understanding why you feel a certain way, and altering or changing how you respond to those thoughts and feelings.

How to be more emotional intelligent

Being aware of your emotions is a good start, but it's not enough if you want to improve your EQ. You also need to understand what makes you feel certain emotions and learn how to regulate those feelings.

There are several theories about what motivates us as humans. Some say that someone else made a mistake and this motivated you to make the same one. Another theory is that you perceive a threat and so you defend yourself by acting quickly with aggression. A third is that you find reward in an action and so you keep doing something until you get that reward.

Whatever the cause, we all have different strengths in our emotional regulation skills. Some people take longer than others to warm up, for example. Others may use avoidance tactics instead of engaging in difficult conversations or actions that could potentially hurt other people.

Some people seem to lose control easily, becoming angry or depressed very quickly without reason. These individuals tend to suffer from mental health conditions like anxiety or depression.

Key points

Over the past few decades, there has been an explosion of interest in what is now called positive psychology. This field focuses not only on the negative experiences we have as humans, but also how to enhance our overall well-being through understanding your emotions, being able to relate to others, and having control over your own life.

Emotions play a large role in determining someone’s overall happiness. For example, when you are hungry, you will probably want to eat something delicious. However, if you were trying to lose weight, then perhaps eating foods that taste bad at first is better than grabbing the quick bread or pasta that you like because they are usually low fat or calorie heavy.

By learning more about emotional intelligence (EI), you can learn how to regulate your own emotions so that they do not interfere with your daily activities. You may be surprised by some of the ways that people who have high EI use this ability. For instance, one study found that college students who had higher EI were less likely to cheat during exams than those who did not.

There have also been several studies that link higher levels of EI to lower rates of depression and anxiety. Researchers believe that this is due to the fact that individuals with higher EI understand their emotions better and are therefore able to recognize signs of stress or worry for themselves and other people around them.

Take control

Recent research suggests that emotional intelligence (EI) is an important predictor of employee performance, leadership effectiveness, and overall success in life. While there are many theories about what makes up EI, one of the most widely accepted definitions comes from Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence” and other best-selling books such as “Social Intelligence.”

Goleman defines EI as the ability to recognize your emotions and then use this information to motivate yourself and others. For example, you would have low emotional intelligence if you could only identify your own feelings but not those of others.

By adding the ability to identify and understand emotions of others, you can better predict how they will feel at any given time and thus influence their behavior. This also helps you be a more effective leader because you can read your employees’ body language and moods more effectively.

There are several tests and measures of person EQ that look into different areas of emotion recognition, understanding, and regulation. The two main ones include the Mayer & Salovey Mood Scale and the Reynolds Self-Control Indicator.

While both assess parts of emotional quotient, the former looks at how people respond to negative stimuli while the latter examines how well someone regulates her or his anger.

Understand your feelings

A key part of emotional intelligence is understanding your own emotions. You can learn to recognize, describe and manage your emotions by practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of becoming aware of what you are doing at this moment. When you add into that creating an awareness of yourself as someone who has life responsibilities, like a parent or student, it becomes even more difficult to focus only on yourself.

But if you want to improve your emotional intelligence, you have to work on your self-awareness. There are many ways to do this, but one of the most effective methods is using something called Thematic Apperception Test (TAT).

The TAT asks questions about how you would respond to certain situations. For example, a question might be “In this situation, which picture comes next?” Then, you choose either option number 1 or 2.

It sounds simple, right? But actually performing the test takes very close attention due to all the different possibilities. Because there are so many options, taking the test really tests your ability to pay close attention and process information quickly.

This also makes the test tough because you have to make decisions almost immediately without thinking too much about it. Fortunately for you, I will give you some tips on how to take the test easily!

How to Take the Test Effectively

1) Use the same settings every time. This includes length, font, and color scheme.

Understand your partner

A lot of people think that emotional intelligence is only about you, how you relate to others, and understanding their emotions. That’s not quite right!

Emotional intelligence also includes knowing what makes your loved ones feel good and happy. This article will talk more about this concept called understand your partner.

Understand your partner refers to being aware of the things that make your significant other happy, sad, angry, or excited. You can learn these behaviors and qualities over time, but they must be noted and understood.

When they are noticed, it should help you plan activities or give you ideas for ways to make them happier. When they aren’t seen or known, it can cause stress and problems within relationships.

There may even be times when they are needed, like when someone does something scary or upsetting. Having high emotional intelligence helps you identify the appropriate response at those times.

Be realistic

Many theories of emotional intelligence focus heavily on identifying specific emotions and then learning how to regulate them. But while that’s helpful, it doesn’t address the more important issue: why are there sometimes strong emotions?

Why do you get angry when your partner talks about breaking up with you? Why does your heart hurt when you read about someone else’s bad day at work?

These aren’t wrong things to feel. In fact, they’re quite normal. And we all have different levels of sensitivity towards certain feelings.

Some people seem to easily become overwhelmed by their emotions, whereas others can stay calm even in stressful situations.

This difference in emotional regulation is what makes some people consider themselves to have higher emotional intelligence than others.

But beyond just whether you have lots or few of “good” emotions, it can also mean whether you use the right kind of emotion for the situation.

You might be able to regulate your anger but not sadness, for example. Or you could control your fear but not your surprise.

So although you might think you’ve mastered every single feeling, it’s possible you haven’t. It all depends on the context.